TEN YEARS AGO

AN ELDERLY COUPLE WERE KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT

AND FOUND THEMSELVES BEING GIVEN A TOUR

OF HEAVEN BY SAINT PETER.

“HERE IS YOUR OCEANSIDE CONDO,

OVER THERE ARE THE TENNIS COURTS,

SWIMMING POOL, AND TWO GOLF COURSES.

IF YOU NEED ANY REFRESHMENTS,

JUST STOP BY ANY OF THE MANY BARS

LOCATED THROUGHOUT THE AREA.”

“HECK, GLORIA,”

THE OLD MAN HISSED WHEN SAINT PETER WALKED OFF,

“WE COULD HAVE BEEN HERE TEN YEARS AGO

IF YOU HADN’T HEARD ABOUT ALL THAT STUPID

OAT BRAN, WHEAT GERM, AND LOW-FAT DIETS!”