NAGGING WIFE

A WOMAN WAS NAGGING HER HUSBAND TO CUT THE GRASS,

TO WHICH THE HUSBAND ANSWERED,

"WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU? A LANDSCAPER?!"

NEXT TIME THE SINK WAS DRIPPING, SHE ASKED HIM AGAIN,

"HONEY, CAN YOU FIX THE TAP?"

THE HUSBAND REPLIED,

"WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU? A PLUMBER?!"

TWO DAYS LATER, A LIGHT BULB WENT OUT AND

SHE BEGGED HIM AGAIN, "HONEY, CAN YOU CHANGE THE LIGHT BULB?"

HIS REPLY WAS,

"WHAT AM I? AN ELECTRICIAN?!"

A FEW DAYS LATER, THE HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM WORK

TO FIND THAT THE LAWN IS CUT, THE TAP IS FIXED,

THE LIGHT BULB IS CHANGED. VERY SURPRISED, HE SAYS,

"HONEY, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

THE WIFE REPLIES,

"YOU KNOW OUR NEW NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR?

HE CAME OVER AND FIXED EVERYTHING."

THE HUSBAND SAYS,

"HONEY, HOW DID YOU PAY HIM?!"

"OH, YOU KNOW," THE WIFE SAYS,

"HE TOLD ME THAT I COULD EITHER BAKE HIM A

CAKE OR HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

" SOMEWHAT RELIEVED THE HUSBAND ASKS,

"WHEW, SO WHAT KIND OF A CAKE DID YOU BAKE FOR HIM?"

THE WIFE REPLIES,

"WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?

DELIA SMITH!"