VALENTINES DAY JOKES

BOY:

DO YOU HAVE A DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY?

GIRL:

YES, FEBRUARY 14TH.

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WHAT DID ONE BOAT SAY TO THE OTHER?

“ARE YOU UP FOR A LITTLE ROW-MANCE?”

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WHAT DID THE GUY WITH THE BROKEN LEG

“SAY TO HIS NURSE?

I’VE GOT A CRUTCH ON YOU.”

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KNOCK! KNOCK! WHO'S THERE?

OLIVE. OLIVE WHO?

OLIVE YOU AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!

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MY HIGH-SCHOOL ENGLISH TEACHER WAS WELL KNOWN

FOR BEING A FAIR, BUT HARD, GRADER.

ONE DAY I RECEIVED A B MINUS ON A THEME PAPER.

IN HOPES OF BETTERING MY GRADE AND IN THE SPIRIT

OF THE VALENTINE SEASON, I SENT HER

AN EXTRAVAGANT HEART-SHAPED BOX OF CHOCOLATES

WITH THE PRE-PRINTED INSCRIPTION:

“BE MINE.” THE FOLLOWING DAY, I RECEIVED IN RETURN

A VALENTINE FROM THE TEACHER. IT READ:

“THANK YOU, BUT IT’S STILL BE MINE-US.”

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DO SKUNKS CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY?

SURE, THEY'RE VERY SCENT-IMENTAL!

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WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO BIRDS IN LOVE?

TWEETHEARTS! 

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