MURDEROUS NEIGHBOUR

A JUDGE ASKS A DEFENDANT TO PLEASE STAND.

"YOU ARE CHARGED WITH MURDERING A

GARBAGE MAN WITH A CHAIN SAW."

FROM THE BACK OF THE COURTROOM A MAN SHOUTS,

"YOU LYING BASTARD!"

"SILENCE IN THE COURT!"

THE JUDGE TURNS TO THE DEFENDANT AGAIN AND SAYS,

"YOU ARE ALSO CHARGED WITH KILLING A

PAPERBOY WITH A SHOVEL."

"YOU TIGHTWAD!" BLURTS THE SPECTATOR.

"QUIET!" YELLED THE JUDGE.

"YOU ARE ALSO CHARGED WITH KILLING A

MAILMAN WITH AN ELECTRIC DRILL."

"YOU CHEAP SON OF A...

" THE SPECTATOR STARTS TO SHOUT.

THE JUDGE THUNDERS BACK,

" I WILL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT!

WHAT IS THE REASON FOR YOUR OUTBURSTS?"

"I'VE LIVED NEXT TO THAT LYING BASTARD FOR

10 YEARS NOW, BUT DO YOU THINK HE EVER HAD A TOOL

WHEN I NEEDED TO BORROW ONE?"