BROKEN DOWN

ONCE THERE WAS THIS MAN WHOSE CAR BROKE DOWN.

HE REALIZED AFTER LOOKING FOR HELP FOR 10 MINUTES

THAT THERE WAS A SMALL FARMHOUSE WITH AN

OLD LADY SITTING ON THE PORCH. HE TOLD HER HIS

UNFORTUNATE STORY AND SHE GLADLY LET HIM IN.

BUT FIRST SHE TOLD HIM, ''I HAVE THREE RULES THAT

YOU MUSN'T BREAK OR I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU MEET JUSTICE!

BUT SINCE TALKING HURTS MY THROAT SO MUCH,

I WON'T TELL YOU MY RULES.''

SHE LET HIM SLEEP IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.

HE FOUND HIMSELF A COMFORTABLE PILE OF OLD WOOL SWEATERS.

AFTER PUFFING HIS "PILLOW" HE REALIZED THAT A

PAIR OF PANTS WERE HANGING DOWN FROM A CLOTHES

LINE OVER TOP OF HIS NEW BED. SEEING THAT IT WAS

NO BIG DEAL HE PULLED THEM DOWN. INSTANTLY THE

OLD LADY DARTED INTO THE ROOM AND SAID,

''YOU BROKE MY FIRST RULE!''

HE WAS SENT OUTSIDE TO SLEEP IN THE DONKEY'S STABLE.

RIGHT BESIDE HIM WAS A TINY DONKEY KICKING HIM

SO MUCH THAT HE SLAPPED IT. IN A FLASH GRANDMA WAS THERE:

''YOU BROKE THE SECOND RULE. WATCH OUT.''

HE WAS SENT ONTO THE PORCH TO SLEEP.

ALL OF A SUDDEN A BIG, UGLY CAT CAME ALONG

AND STARTED RUBBING ALL OVER HIM. BEING ALLERGIC TO

CAT HAIR, HE SHAVED IT BALD. HERE CAME THE GRANDMA.

''YOU BROKE THE THIRD RULE,'' SHE STARTS,

''I'M CALLING THE COPS.''

THE COPS CAME AND REQUESTED A DESCRIPTION OF

WHAT HAPPENED. THE OLD LADY SAID,

''THAT MAN IS A DAMNED RAPIST.

HE PULLED DOWN MY PANTS,

SLAPPED MY ASS AND

SHAVED MY PUSSY!''