THE LADY AND THE FACE LIFT

A 47 YEAR-OLD LADY GETS A FACELIFT.

IT TURNS OUT VERY WELL AND SHE ENJOYS SHOWING

OFF HER NEW LOOK. SHE GOES TO THE NEWSSTAND AND

ASKS THE MAN, ''SIR, HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM''?

THE MAN REPLIES ''YOU'RE 30, RIGHT?''

SHE SAYS ''NO, I'M 47, BUT NICE TRY.''

THE NEXT DAY, SHE GOES TO MCDONALD'S.

SHE ORDERS HER LUNCH AND ASKS THE YOUNG MAN

AT THE COUNTER, ''HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?''

THE MAN REPLIES, ''YOU'RE 37, RIGHT?''

THE LADY SAYS ''NO, I'M 47, BUT GOOD GUESS.''

AFTER LUNCH, SHE GETS ON THE BUS AND SHE

ASKS AN 85-YEAR-OLD MAN HOW OLD SHE IS.

HE REPLIES ''LADY, I CAN TELL HOW OLD ANY WOMAN IS

BY STICKING MY HAND DOWN HER PANTIES.''

SO, QUIETLY AND QUICKLY, SHE LETS HIM DO SO.

HE THINKS A MOMENT AND ANNOUNCES, ''YOU'RE 47!''

THE LADY, ASTONISHED, ASKS,

''HOW DID YOU KNOW?''

THE OLD MAN REPLIES

''I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU AT MCDONALD'S.''