MACGREGOR'S ACHIEVEMENTS

A SCOTTISH OLD TIMER IS TALKING TO

A YOUNG MAN IN A BAR.

"LAD, LOOK OUT THERE TO THE FIELD.

DO YE SEE THAT FENCE? LOOK HOW WELL IT'S BUILT.

I BUILT THAT FENCE STONE BY STONE WITH

ME OWN TWO HANDS. PILED IT FOR MONTHS.

BUT DO THEY CALL ME MACGREGOR-THE-FENCE-BUILDER?

NOOO..." BLURTS THE OLD MAN.

THEN THE OLD MAN GESTURED AT THE BAR.

"LOOK HERE AT THE BAR. DO YE SEE HOW SMOOTH AND

JUST IT IS? I PLANED THAT SURFACE DOWN WITH ME

OWN ACHIN' BACK. I CARVED THAT WOOD WITH ME OWN

HARD LABOUR FOR EIGHT DAYS.

BUT DO THEY CALL ME MACGREGOR-THE-BAR-BUILDER? NOOO...

" CLAIMS THE OLD MAN.

THEN THE OLD MAN POINTS OUT THE WINDOW.

"EH, LADDY, LOOK OUT TO SEA. DO YE SEE THAT PIER

THAT STRETCHES OUT AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE?

I BUILT THAT PIER WITH THE SWEAT OFF ME BACK.

I NAILED IT BOARD BY BOARD. BUT DO THEY CALL ME

MACGREGOR-THE-PIER-BUILDER? NOOO..."

SAYS THE OLD MAN.

THEN THE OLD MAN LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY,

MAKING SURE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION.

"BUT YE SCREW ONE GOAT..."