PRESSING AGAINST

A MARRIED MAN GOES TO CONFESSIONAL

AND TELLS THE PRIEST,

"I ALMOST HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A WOMAN."

THE PRIEST ASKS,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'ALMOST'?"

"WELL, WE GOT UNDRESSED AND PRESSED

TOGETHER, BUT THEN I STOPPED."

THE PRIEST REPLIES,

"PRESSING TOGETHER IS THE SAME AS PUTTING IT IN.

YOU'RE NOT TO GO NEAR THAT WOMAN AGAIN.

NOW, SAY FIVE HAIL MARY'S AND PUT £50 IN THE POOR BOX."

THE MAN LEAVES CONFESSIONAL,

SAYS HIS PRAYERS,

AND THEN WALKS OVER TO THE POOR BOX.

HE PAUSES FOR A MOMENT AND STARTS TO LEAVE.

THE PRIEST QUICKLY RUNS OVER TO HIM AND SAYS,

"I SAW THAT.

YOU DIDN'T PUT ANY MONEY IN THE POOR BOX."

"WELL, FATHER, I PRESSED UP AGAINST IT,

AND YOU SAID THAT WAS THE SAME AS PUTTING IT IN."