MORE EDINBURGH FRINGE JOKES

31. I READ THAT DURING THE WAR THE ENGLISH

REFERRED TO ADOLF HILTER AS BADGER MAN,

ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT HAVE SAID BAD GERMAN.

MARK SIMMONS.

32. CARPE PHALLUM

TIFF STEVENSON.

33. LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR

THOSE WHO ARE EASILY LED...

EDDIE PEPPITONE.

34. MY WIFE TOLD ME: “SEX IS BETTER ON HOLIDAY.”

THAT WASN’T A VERY NICE POSTCARD TO RECEIVE.

JOE BOR.

35. A WAITER APPROACHES A TABLE OF JEWISH DINERS

AS THEY FINISH THEIR MEAL AND SAYS:

'WAS ANYTHING RIGHT?'

IVOR DEMBINO.

36. I GOT UP THIS MORNING AND I SHOT AN ELEPHANT

IN MY PYJAMAS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING IN

MY PYJAMAS BUT I SHOT HIM ANYWAY

MICHAEL DOWNEY.

37. WHEN I WAS LITTLE MY GRANDFATHER SAID I

COULDN'T EAT BACON BECAUSE I'M JEWISH.

I SAID "THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE JEWISH."

AND HE REPLIED,

"THAT'S THE MOST JEWISH THING YOU COULD SAY."

ALEX EDELMAN.

38. I LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT'S MY LAST. DEVASTATED.

ALFIE BROWN.

39. I WANT A FUN FUNERAL - SO THE INVITE IS GOING

TO SAY 'HAWAIIAN THEMED'. BUT, I'M ONLY GOING

TO SEND THAT INVITE TO ONE GUEST.

IAN SMITH.

40. WHEN I WAS 12 I FOUND A DOMINATRIX PORN MAG

ON A TRAIN, I TOOK IT HOME AND PUT IT UNDER MY BED.

MY PARENTS FOUND IT, BUT THEY NEVER SPANKED ME AGAIN.

MAFF BROWN.