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THREE TESTS

Added on: 2nd Oct 2014

 

 

A NEW GUY IN TOWN WALKS INTO A BAR AND

 

NOTICES A LARGE JAR FILLED TO THE BRIM

 

WITH $10 BILLS.

 

THE MAN APPROACHES THE BARTENDER AND ASKS,

 

"WHAT'S UP WITH THE JAR?"

"WELL, YOU PAY $10, AND IF YOU PASS THREE TESTS,

 

THEN YOU GET ALL THE MONEY."

"WHAT ARE THE THREE TESTS?" ASKS THE MAN

"GOTTA PAY FIRST."

SO THE GUY GIVES HIM THE $10 BUCKS,

 

AND THE BARTENDER ADDS IT TO THE JAR.

"OK, HERE'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

 

FIRST, YOU HAVE TO DRINK THAT WHOLE BOTTLE

 

OF PEPPER TEQUILA -- THE WHOLE THING AT ONCE –

 

AND YOU CAN'T MAKE A FACE WHILE DOING IT.

 

SECOND, THERE'S A PIT BULL CHAINED UP OUT BACK

 

WITH A SORE TOOTH. YOU HAVE TO REMOVE THE

 

TOOTH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS.

 

THIRD, THERE IS A 90-YEAR-OLD WOMAN UPSTAIRS

 

WHO'S NEVER HAD AN ORGASM IN HER LIFE.

 

YOU GOTTA MAKE THINGS RIGHT FOR HER."

"WELL, I KNOW I'VE PAID MY $10 BUCKS,"

 

SAYS THE MAN, "BUT I'M NOT AN IDIOT.

 

NO WONDER YOU'VE COLLECTED SO MUCH MONEY –

 

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

THE NEW GUY PROCEEDS TO DRINK SEVERAL

 

WHISKEYS, AND EVENTUALLY, HE GETS UP HIS NERVE.

"WHEREZ ZAT TEEQEELAH?" HE SLURS.

HE GRABS THE BOTTLE OF PEPPER TEQUILA WITH

 

BOTH HANDS AND DOWNS IT, GULP BY GULP.

 

TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN HIS CHEEKS,

 

BUT HE DOESN'T MAKE A FACE.

 

NEXT, HE STAGGERS OUT BACK.

 

EVERYONE IN THE BAR HEARS A HUGE SCUFFLE OUTSIDE

 

BARKING, YELPING AND GROWLING, THEN SILENCE.

JUST WHEN THEY THINK THE MAN MUST BE DEAD,

 

HE STAGGERS BACK INTO THE BAR WITH HIS

 

SHIRT RIPPED AND GASHES ACROSS HIS BODY.

"NOW," HE SAYS,

 

"WHEREZ AT OL' LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?"

lady with tea cup animations

 

 

 

 

 


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