As you slide down the banister of life

Remember...

  

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written 
    An impressive new book.  It's called ........ 
   'Ministers Do More Than Lay People' 

  
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink 
    And be Mary.. 
  
3. The difference between the Pope and 
    Your boss,  the Pope only expects you 
    To kiss his ring. 
  
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant 
    Flash  and it is gone. 

  
5. The only time the world beats a path to 
    Your door is if you're in  the bathroom. 
  
  6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. 
    The seat folded up, the drink spilled and 
    That ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 

  
7. It used to be only death and taxes 
    Now, of course, there's 
    Shipping and handling, too. 
    
  
8. A husband is someone who, after taking 
     The trash out, gives the impression that 
     He just cleaned the whole house. 

  
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just 
    Vending machines and a  large trash can.. 
  
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my 
       Mechanic might try to rip me off. 
      I was relieved when he told me all 
      I needed was turn signal fluid.' 

  
11. Definition of a teenager? 
     God's punishment...for enjoying sex.     
       
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may 
     The splinters never point the wrong way... 

13. Be who you are and say what you feel...
Because those that matter... Don't mind
And those that mind...don't matter!