YOU SPEAKA DA ENGLISH

A bus stops and two Italian men get on.

They sit down and engage in

an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores

them at first, but her attention is galvanized

when she hears one of the

men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine,"

retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country ... we don't speak 

aloud in public places about our sex lives ...

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda

how to spella 'Mississippi'."