Bad Dog Needs Rotten Home



Added on: 26th Jun 2015


Three men were standing in line to

get into heaven one day.


Apparently it had been a pretty busy day

so St. Peter had to tell the first one,

"Heaven's getting pretty close to full today

and I've been asked to admit only people 

who have had particularly horrible deaths.

So what's your story?"


The first man replies:

"Well, for a while I've suspected my wife

has been cheating on me,

so today I came home early to try

to catch her red-handed.

As I came into my 25th floor apartment,

I could tell something was wrong

but all my searching around didn't reveal

where this other guy could have been hiding.

Finally, I went out to the balcony

and sure enough, there was this

man hanging off the railing,

25 floors above ground!

By now I was really mad,

so I started beating on him and kicking him

but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.

So finally I went back into my apartment and

got a hammer and starting hammering

on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't

stand that for long, so he let go and

fell-but even after 25 stories,

he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay.

I couldn't stand it anymore,

so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge

and threw it over the edge

where it landed on him, killing him instantly.

But all the stress and anger got to me

and I had a heart attack and

died there on the balcony."


"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,"

said Peter, and let the man in.


The second man comes up and

Peter explains to him about heaven being full

and again asks for his story.


"It's been a very strange day.

You see, I live on the 26th floor of

my apartment building and every morning

I do my exercises out on my balcony.

Well, this morning I must have slipped or something,

because I fell over the edge.

But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the

balcony on the floor below me.

I knew I couldn't hang on for very long,

when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony.

I thought for sure I was saved,

when he started beating on me and kicking me.

I held on the best I could until he ran into the

apartment and grabbed a hammer and

started pounding on my hands.

Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky

and fell into the bushes below,

stunned but all right.

Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay,

this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky

and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."


Once again, Peter had to concede that

it sounded like a pretty horrible death.


The third man came to the front of the line

and St. Peter asked for his story.


"Picture this," says the third man,

"I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."


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