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URINALYSIS

Added on: 29th Jun 2015

 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria,

Jack says to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts like hell.

I guess I better see a doctor."

 

"Listen, you don't have to spend

that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer at the

drugstore at the corner. 

Just give it a urine sample and the

Computer will tell you what's wrong and

what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs

ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

 

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small

jar and takes it to the drugstore.

He deposits ten dollars and the

computer lights up and asks for

the urine sample.

He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later,

the computer ejects a printout:

 

You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water and

avoid heavy activity.

It will improve in two weeks.

 

That evening while thinking how amazing

this new technology was,

Jack began wondering if the

computer could be fooled.

 

He mixed some tap water,

a stool sample from his dog,

urine samples from his wife and daughter

and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

 

Jack hurries back to the drugstore,

eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars,

pours in his concoction and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

 

1.   Your tap water is too hard.

Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm.

Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.

Get her into rehab.

4.   Your wife is pregnant...twin girls.

They aren't yours.

Get a lawyer.

5.   If you don't stop playing with yourself,

your elbow will never get better.

 

computer  animations

 


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