Bad Dog Needs Rotten Home

THE NEW HOME FOR THE BEST STUFF ON THE WEB.

CORPORATE TERMINOLOGY

Added on: 25th Sep 2015

 

"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by

paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay you enough to expect

that you'll dress nicely.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule

on your first day.

"MUST BE FLEXIBLE:"
On many occasions, you'll be asked to

bend over and grab your ankles.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and s

ome time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female employees must be childless

(and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told

the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for

resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A

WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace the

three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company

in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager,

without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen,

figure out what they want and do it.

 

http://www.picgifs.com/job-graphics/job-graphics/office-worker/medewerkers009.gif

 


View by Month