SOME MORE BRITISH JOKES

11. “Most of us have a skeleton in the cupboard.

David Beckham takes his out in public.”

Andrew Laurence

12. “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

I’ll tell you what, never again.”

Tim Vine

13. “I needed a password eight characters long

so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

Nick Helm

14. “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained:

'It’s not rocket salad.’”

Lou Sander

15. “I told the ambulance men

the wrong blood type for my ex,

so he knows what rejection feels like.”

Pippa Evans

16. “I’m in a same-sex marriage…

the sex is always the same.”

Alfie Moore

17. “A sewage farm.

In what way is it a farm?

Is there a farm shop?”

Jack Dee

18. “There are only two conditions

where you’re allowed to wake up a

woman on a lie-in.

It’s snowing or the death of a celebrity.”

Michael McIntyre

19. “For boys, puberty is like turning

into the Incredible Hulk - but

very, very slowly.”

John Bishop

20. A big girl once came up to me

after a show and said

'I think you’re fatist.’

I said 'No.

I think you’re fattest.’

Jimmy Carr