A MEETING BETWEEN GEORGE W BUSH AND CONDOLEEZA RICE

George: Condi! Nice to see you.

What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here

about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you.

Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you.

Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell

me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China?

I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the

name of the new leader of China.

Get me the Secretary General of the U.N.

on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it,

I could use a glass of milk.

And then get me the UN

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir!

The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk!

Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the UN?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East!

Just get me the guy at the UN

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars.

Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice here.

George: Rice? Good idea.

And a couple of egg rolls, too.