CONFLICT RESOLUTION

THERE WAS ONCE AN ENGLISHMAN AND A

SCOTSMAN WHO LIVED NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER.

THE ENGLISHMAN OWNED A HEN AND EACH

MORNING WOULD LOOK IN HIS GARDEN AND

PICK UP ONE OF HIS HENS EGGS FOR BREAKFAST.

ONE DAY HE LOOKED INTO HIS GARDEN AND

SAW THAT THE HEN HAD LAID AN EGG

IN THE SCOTSMAN'S GARDEN.

HE WAS ABOUT TO GO NEXT DOOR

WHEN HE SAW THE SCOTSMAN PICK UP THE EGG.

THE ENGLISHMAN RAN UP TO THE SCOTSMAN

AND TOLD HIM THAT THE EGG BELONGED TO HIM

BECAUSE HE OWNED THE HEN.

THE SCOTSMAN DISAGREED BECAUSE THE

EGG WAS LAID ON HIS PROPERTY.

THEY ARGUED FOR A WHILE UNTIL FINALLY

THE ENGLISHMAN SAID

"IN MY FAMILY WE NORMALLY SOLVE DISPUTES

BY THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE:

I KICK YOU IN THE BALLS AND TIME HOW

LONG IT TAKES YOU TO GET BACK UP,

THEN YOU KICK ME IN THE BALLS AND

TIME HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR ME TO GET UP,

WHOMEVER GETS UP QUICKER WINS THE EGG."

THE SCOTSMAN AGREED TO THIS AND

SO THE ENGLISH MAN FOUND HIS HEAVIEST

PAIR OF BOOTS AND PUT THEM ON,

HE TOOK A FEW STEPS BACK,

THEN RAN TOWARD THE SCOTSMAN AND

KICKED AS HARD AS HE COULD IN THE BALLS.

THE SCOTSMAN FELL TO THE FLOOR

CLUTCHING HIS NUTS HOWLING IN AGONY

FOR 30 MINUTES.

EVENTUALLY THE SCOTSMAN STOOD UP

AND SAID

"NOW IT'S MY TURN TO KICK YOU."

THE ENGLISHMAN SAID

"KEEP THE !@#%#$@#$!@% EGG."