ENGLISH HUMOUR

ABSOLUTELY POLITICALLY INCORRECT

It has been announced that the police are going

to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters.

They are putting some Tide washing powder in to

stop the coloureds from running.

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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the

Thames barrier in London.

Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

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Riots in Birmingham last month caused over

£1 million worth of improvements

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Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester,

killing anyone who's English.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.

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Years ago it was suggested that,

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

But, since all the doctors are now Muslim,

I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!

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Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've

managed to push it inside.  

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During last night's high winds an African family

were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said

"We didn't even know they were living up there".  

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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that

there are not enough television shows

with minorities in mind,

so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.  

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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf

that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan

bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him,

"What's up Abdul, won't it start?"  

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An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in ​​

Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues,

who were unhappy with her dismissal. 

It seems that a caller dialled 911 from a cell phone stating,

"I am depressed and lying on a railway line so

that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."

To which the call centre employee replied,

"Remain calm and stay on the line."