THE NEWLY WEDS 2015-12-22 01-45:00

A YOUNG COUPLE DECIDED TO WED. 

AS THE BIG DAY APPROACHED,

THEY GREW APPREHENSIVE. 

EACH HAD A PROBLEM THEY HAD

NEVER BEFORE SHARED WITH ANYONE,

NOT EVEN EACH OTHER.  

THE GROOM-TO-BE, OVERCOMING HIS FEAR,

DECIDED TO ASK HIS FATHER FOR ADVICE.

"FATHER," HE SAID,

"I AM DEEPLY CONCERNED ABOUT THE

SUCCESS OF MY MARRIAGE. 

I LOVE MY FIANCÉE, VERY MUCH,

BUT YOU SEE, I HAVE VERY SMELLY FEET

AND I'M AFRAID THAT MY FUTURE WIFE

WILL BE PUT OFF BY THEM." 

"NO PROBLEM," SAID DAD,

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WASH YOUR FEET

AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

AND ALWAYS WEAR SOCKS, EVEN TO BED." 

WELL, TO HIM THIS SEEMED A

WORKABLE SOLUTION. 

THE BRIDE-TO-BE,

OVERCOMING HER FEAR,

DECIDED TO TAKE HER PROBLEM UP HER MOM. 

"MOM," SHE SAID,

"WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE 
MORNING MY BREATH IS TRULY AWFUL." 

"HONEY," HER MOTHER CONSOLED,

"EVERYONE HAS BAD BREATH IN THE MORNING." 

"NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 

MY MORNING BREATH IS SO BAD,

I'M AFRAID  THAT MY NEW HUSBAND

WILL NOT WANT TO SLEEP IN

THE SAME ROOM WITH ME." 

HER MOTHER SAID SIMPLY,

"TRY THIS.  IN THE MORNING,

GET STRAIGHT OUT OF BED AND HEAD

FOR THE BATHROOM AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH. 

THE KEY IS, NOT TO SAY A WORD UNTIL

YOU'VE BRUSHED YOUR TEETH. 

NOT A WORD,"

HER MOTHER AFFIRMED. 

WELL, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS

CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY. 

THE LOVING COUPLE WERE FINALLY MARRIED

IN A BEAUTIFUL CEREMONY. 

NOT FORGETTING THE ADVICE EACH HAD RECEIVED,

HE WITH HIS PERPETUAL SOCKS AND SHE

WITH HER MORNING SILENCE,

THEY MANAGED QUITE WELL. 

THAT IS, UNTIL ABOUT SIX MONTHS LATER. 

SHORTLY BEFORE DAWN,

THE HUSBAND WAKES WITH A START

TO FIND THAT ONE OF HIS SOCKS HAD COME OFF. 

FEARFUL OF THE CONSEQUENCES,

HE FRANTICALLY SEARCHES THE BED. 

THIS, OF COURSE, WOKE HIS BRIDE

AND WITHOUT THINKING,

SHE IMMEDIATELY ASKS,

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?" 

"OH, NO!" HE GASPED IN SHOCK,

"YOU'VE SWALLOWED MY SOCK!"