COMPUTERS
Added on: 19th Feb 2016
FOR ALL OF US WHO FEEL ONLY
THE DEEPEST LOVE AND AFFECTION
FOR THE WAY COMPUTERS HAVE
ENHANCED OUR LIVES,
READ ON.
AT A RECENT COMPUTER EXPO (COMDEX),
BILL GATES REPORTEDLY COMPARED
THE COMPUTER INDUSTRY WITH THE
AUTO INDUSTRY AND STATED:
'IF FORD HAD KEPT UP WITH TECHNOLOGY
LIKE THE COMPUTER INDUSTRY HAS,
WE WOULD ALL BE DRIVING $25 CARS
THAT GOT 1,000 MILES TO THE GALLON.'
IN RESPONSE TO BILL 'S COMMENTS,
FORD ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE STATING :
IF FORD HAD DEVELOPED TECHNOLOGY
LIKE MICROSOFT,
WE WOULD ALL BE DRIVING CARS
WITH THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERISTICS
(AND I JUST LOVE THIS PART):
1. FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER,
YOUR CAR WOULD CRASH.........TWICE A DAY..
2. EVERY TIME THEY REPAINTED
THE LINES IN THE ROAD,
YOU WOULD HAVE TO BUY A NEW CAR.
3. OCCASIONALLY YOUR CAR WOULD DIE ON
THE FREEWAY FOR NO REASON.
YOU WOULD HAVE TO PULL TO
THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,
CLOSE ALL OF THE WINDOWS,
SHUT OFF THE CAR, RESTART IT,
AND REOPEN THE WINDOWS BEFORE
YOU COULD CONTINUE.
FOR SOME REASON YOU WOULD
SIMPLY ACCEPT THIS.
4. OCCASIONALLY, EXECUTING A
MANOEUVRE SUCH AS A LEFT TURN
WOULD CAUSE YOUR CAR TO
SHUT DOWN AND REFUSE TO RESTART,
IN WHICH CASE YOU WOULD
HAVE TO REINSTALL THE ENGINE.
5. MACINTOSH WOULD MAKE A CAR
THAT WAS POWERED BY THE SUN,
WAS RELIABLE, FIVE TIMES AS FAST
AND TWICE AS EASY TO DRIVE - BUT
WOULD RUN ON ONLY FIVE PERCENT
OF THE ROADS.
6. THE OIL, WATER TEMPERATURE, AND
ALTERNATOR WARNING LIGHTS WOULD
ALL BE REPLACED BY A SINGLE
'THIS CAR HAS PERFORMED AN
ILLEGAL OPERATION' WARNING LIGHT.
I LOVE THE NEXT ONE!!!
7. THE AIRBAG SYSTEM WOULD ASK
'ARE YOU SURE?'
BEFORE DEPLOYING.
8. OCCASIONALLY,
FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER,
YOUR CAR WOULD LOCK YOU OUT
AND REFUSE TO LET YOU IN UNTIL
YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY LIFTED
THE DOOR HANDLE, TURNED THE KEY AND
GRABBED HOLD OF THE RADIO ANTENNA.
9. EVERY TIME A NEW CAR WAS
INTRODUCED CAR BUYERS WOULD HAVE
TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE ALL OVER AGAIN
BECAUSE NONE OF THE CONTROLS WOULD
OPERATE IN THE SAME MANNER
AS THE OLD CAR.
10. YOU'D HAVE TO PRESS THE 'START'
BUTTON TO TURN THE ENGINE OFF.
PS - I 'D LIKE TO ADD THAT WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS,
YOU COULD CALL 'CUSTOMER SERVICE' IN
SOME FOREIGN COUNTRY AND BE INSTRUCTED
IN SOME FOREIGN LANGUAGE
HOW TO FIX YOUR CAR YOURSELF!!!!
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