Bad Dog Needs Rotten Home



Added on: 18th Mar 2016



The Big Smoke gets torched by terrorists, who, as evidenced

by the poster of Big Ben exploding in a shower of glass, hit us

where it really hurts: right in our big clock. The Houses of

Parliament also get exploded, as does, weirdly, the

Thames bridge.



'28 DAYS LATER’ (2002)

The nation’s capital is left a barren and empty wasteland

in Danny Boyle’s zombie, not-zombie thriller, virus survivor

Cillian Murphy is free to wander around a completely deserted

London at dawn, free of the usual drunken revellers and people

puking into jester hats. The sparse imagery is powerful, an

over-turned bus here, a traffic-free Waterloo Bridge.



'REIGN OF FIRE’ (2002)

“Well this town’s gone to hell,” says Christian Bale upon

witnessing the devastation wreaked upon a scorched London.

Big Ben is something of a target, as the dragons give the

old boy a medium flambé, and Westminster Abbey is

left charred and burned.




London’s Old Bailey criminal court building is lit up on fireworks

night by mysterious masked man V to the banging tune of

Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. The main event, however, happens

the following year: along with his vigilante padawan Evey

(Natalie Portman), V loads up a tube train with enough explosives

to make Guy Fawkes think twice and ploughs it into the

Houses of Parliament, finishing what Fawkes himself never could. 




London is destroyed almost as an afterthought in this highly

silly action romp but is never mentioned again, despite the

presumed deaths of millions of people. The destruction is

localised around the Thames as a bomb is dropped on

Waterloo from space, obliterating the London Eye and

other great tourism destinations. 




Michael Caine’s 1969 war film 'The Battle Of Britain’ took

to the skies to witness the bombing of London as we see

the bombs drop from the point of view of the Luftwaffe.

Explosion after explosion riddles the capital’s skyline, but from

a mile high, along with the gentle hum of the German aircraft. 

Only the odd shot from ground level, buildings collapsing,

Tower Bridge ablaze, remind you of the level of damage

dealt by the Nazis.




The destruction wrought upon London in this adaptation of the

HG Wells classic is described by Rod Taylor’s inventor as

“a labour of centuries, gone in an instant”. Special effects weren’t

quite what they are today back in the '60’s but the effect

is still quite mesmerising: Taylor stands back to watch a

'futuristic’ London implode from a nuclear warhead, with

Mother Nature retaliating with a few volcanoes thrown

in for good measure.




“It’s running wild… the streets are in an uproar! My brontosaurus

has escaped!” A particularly low-tech destruction of London it

may be, but the dinosaur rampage in this silent movie adaptation

of Arthur Conan Doyle’s seminal tome still impresses,

considering it was made 90 years ago. The errant Bronto terrifies

crowds of onlookers before wandering leisurely through the

capital, knocking down buildings and eventually collapsing T

ower Bridge with its sheer weight.



 'THE CORE’ (2003)

The most hilarious signifier of impending destruction comes

via this 2003 disaster movie, which sees the core of the

Earth stop spinning. The first creatures to know what’s up are

the capital’s pigeons, yes, seriously, who respond to the Earth’s

slowing rotation by going Full Hitchcock and waging a sort of

air-to-land kamikaze campaign on the citizens of London,

dive-bombing office buildings, landmarks and British cabbies

who say things like “Move you bloody idiot!” See, the end

of the world isn’t depressing, it’s properly hilarious, too!

Next time you see a pigeon that looks suspicious… run.




Even though it basically amounts to the blowing up of a library,

“Not our books!” is right up there with “Not our big clock!”

in terms of underwhelming collateral damage, the

'Star Trek Into Darkness’ scene in which Noel Clarke destroys

London’s 'Kelvin Memorial Archive’ is notable because it

contains scenes of futuristic destruction. It’s actually a rather

subtle and well composed scene, pulling back from the

flames engulfing the London 2.0 skyline to focus on a

photo of the little girl whose life’s worth was deemed more

than the poor sods who perished while perusing the

Young Adult section.


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