CHRISTMAS TREE

A FAMILY IS AT THE DINNER TABLE.

THE SON ASKS THE FATHER,

“DAD, HOW MANY KINDS OF

BOOBS ARE THERE?”

THE FATHER, SURPRISED, ANSWERS,

“WELL, SON, A WOMAN GOES

THROUGH THREE PHASES.

IN HER 20’S, A WOMAN’S BREASTS

ARE LIKE MELONS, ROUND AND FIRM.

IN HER 30’S AND 40’S,

THEY ARE LIKE PEARS,

STILL NICE, HANGING A BIT.

AFTER 50, THEY ARE LIKE ONIONS.”

“ONIONS?” THE SON ASKS.

“YES. YOU SEE THEM AND

THEY MAKE YOU CRY.”

THIS INFURIATED HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER.

THE DAUGHTER ASKS,

“MOM, HOW MANY DIFFERENT

KINDS OF WILLIES ARE THERE?”

THE MOTHER SMILES AND SAYS,

“WELL, DEAR, A MAN GOES

THROUGH THREE PHASES ALSO.

IN HIS 20’S, HIS WILLY IS LIKE AN OAK TREE,

MIGHTY AND HARD.

IN HIS 30’S AND 40’S,

IT’S LIKE A BIRCH, F

LEXIBLE BUT RELIABLE.

AFTER HIS 50’S,

IT’S LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE.”

“A CHRISTMAS TREE?”

THE DAUGHTER ASKS.

“YES, DEAD FROM THE ROOT UP AND

THE BALLS ARE JUST FOR DECORATION.”