SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
Added on: 20th May 2016
A GOVERNMENT SURVEY HAS SHOWN
THAT 91% OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
COME TO BRITAIN SO THAT THEY
CAN SEE THEIR OWN DOCTOR.
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DUE TO THE CURRENT ECONOMIC CRISIS,
GREECE IS CANCELLING ALL
PRODUCTION OF HUMUS AND TARAMASALATA.
IT'S A DOUBLE DIP RECESSION.
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63 PAKISTANIS DIED IN
BRADFORD THIS MORNING.
IT WAS NOT A TERRORIST ATTACK,
A BUNK BED COLLAPSED..
THE POLICE ARE BLAMING AL IKEA .
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JONATHAN ROSS HAS BEEN
ACCUSED OF SHOPLIFTING A
KITCHEN UTENSIL FROM TESCO.
ROSS SAYS IT WAS A
WHISK HE WAS PREPARED TO TAKE.
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POLICE STOP A PAKISTANI
IN HIS TRANSIT VAN ON THE MOTORWAY.
POLICEMAN SAYS
“DO YOU KNOW THE LIMIT IS 70?"
THE DRIVER LEANS INTO THE BACK AND SAYS:
"HEAR THAT? ........
6 OF YOU HAVE GOT TO GET OUT!"
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PADDY & MICK STAGGER OUT
OF THE ZOO WITH BLOOD
POURING FROM THEM..
"BOLLOCKS TO THAT"
SAID PADDY
"THAT'S THE LAST TIME
I GO LION DANCING”
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PADDY SAYS TO MICK,
"CHRISTMAS IS ON FRIDAY THIS YEAR".
MICK SAID,
"LET'S HOPE IT'S NOT THE 13TH THEN."
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MY MATE JUST HIRED AN
EASTERN EUROPEAN CLEANER,
TOOK HER 15 HOURS
TO HOOVER THE HOUSE.
TURNS OUT SHE WAS A SLOVAK.
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SINCE THE SNOW CAME,
ALL THE WIFE HAS DONE
IS LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW.
IF IT GETS ANY WORSE,
I'LL HAVE TO LET HER IN.
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