DON'T MESS WITH THE ELDERLY

MYRA RHODES, A LITTLE OLD LADY

LIVING IN GREAT BADDOW, ESSEX,

ANSWERED A KNOCK ON THE DOOR ONE DAY,

TO BE CONFRONTED BY A WELL-DRESSED

YOUNG MAN CARRYING A VACUUM CLEANER.

'GOOD MORNING, MA'AM,'

SAID THE YOUNG MAN.

'IF I COULD TAKE A COUPLE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME,

I WOULD LIKE TO DEMONSTRATE THE

VERY LATEST IN HIGH-POWERED VACUUM CLEANERS.'

'GO AWAY!'

SAID MYRA BRUSQUELY.

'I'M BROKE AND HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY,'

AND SHE PROCEEDED TO CLOSE THE DOOR.

QUICK AS A FLASH,

THE YOUNG MAN WEDGED HIS FOOT IN

THE DOOR AND PUSHED IT WIDE OPEN.

'DON'T BE TOO HASTY,'

HE COMMANDED.

'NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE AT LEAST SEEN

MY DEMONSTRATION.'

AND WITH THAT, HE EMPTIED A

BUCKET OF HORSE MANURE ONTO

HER HALLWAY CARPET.

'NOW, IF THIS VACUUM CLEANER DOES

NOT REMOVE ALL TRACES OF THIS

HORSE MANURE FROM YOUR CARPET,

MADAM, I WILL PERSONALLY

EAT THE REMAINDER.'

MYRA STEPPED BACK AND SAID WITH A SMILE,

'WELL LET ME GET YOU A SPOON,

YOUNG MAN BECAUSE THEY CUT OFF MY

ELECTRICITY THIS MORNING.'