GOVERNMENT NIGHT WATCHMAN

THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT

HAS A VAST SCRAP YARD

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT.

THE CONGRESSMAN WHOSE DISTRICT

IT'S IN SAYS SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL

FROM IT AT NIGHT,

SO CONGRESS CREATES A NIGHT WATCHMAN,

GS-4 POSITION AND HIRES A

PERSON FOR THE JOB.

THEN THE CONGRESSMAN ASKS,

"HOW DOES THE WATCHMAN

DO HIS JOB WITHOUT INSTRUCTION?" 

SO CONGRESS CREATES A PLANNING POSITION

AND HIRES TWO PEOPLE,

ONE PERSON TO WRITE THE INSTRUCTIONS,

A GS-12 AND ONE PERSON

TO DO TIME STUDIES, A GS-11. 

"HOW WILL WE KNOW THE

NIGHT WATCHMAN IS DOING

THE TASKS CORRECTLY?"

THE CONGRESSMAN ASKS. 

SO CONGRESS CREATES A

QUALITY CONTROL POSITION

AND HIRES A GS-9 TO DO QUALITY CONTROL

STUDIES AND A GS-11 TO

WRITE THE REPORTS.

THEN THE CONGRESSMAN ASKS

"HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE GOING TO GET PAID?" 

SO CONGRESS AUTHORIZES A

POSITIONS OF TIMEKEEPER,

GS-9, AND PAYROLL OFFICER, GS-11

AND TWO PEOPLE ARE HIRED

TO FILL THE SLOTS. 

"WHO WILL BE ACCOUNTABLE

FOR ALL OF THESE PEOPLE?"

THE CONGRESSMAN ASKS. 

SO THEY HIRE THREE PEOPLE

AN ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER, GS-13,

AN ASSISTANT ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER GS-12

AND A LEGAL SECRETARY, A GS-8.

ON THE EVE OF THE NEXT ELECTION

SEASON THE CONGRESSMAN

LOOKS AT THE COST AND SAYS,

"WE HAVE HAD THIS COMMAND

IN OPERATION FOR ONE YEAR

AND WE ARE $40,000 OVER BUDGET.

WE MUST CUTBACK OVERALL COSTS." 

SO THEY LAY OFF THE NIGHT WATCHMAN.