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DOG FOOD DIET

Added on: 20th Jul 2016

 

SO, I'M AT A STORE BUYING A BAG

OF DOG FOOD FOR MY DOG.

 

WHILE IN THE CHECK-OUT LINE,

A WOMAN BEHIND ME ASKED

IF I HAD A DOG.

SO ON IMPULSE I TOLD HER THAT NO,

I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG.

I TOLD HER THAT I WAS STARTING

THE DOG FOOD DIET AGAIN

AND THAT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T

BECAUSE I ENDED UP IN

HOSPITAL LAST TIME, BUT THAT I'D

LOST 50 POUNDS BEFORE I

AWAKENED IN INTENSIVE CARE

WITH TUBES COMING OUT OF

MOST OF MY ORIFICES AND

IVS IN BOTH ARMS.

I TOLD HER THAT IT WAS

ESSENTIALLY A PERFECT DIET AND

ALL YOU DO IS LOAD YOUR POCKETS

WITH FOOD NUGGETS AND SIMPLY EAT

ONE OR TWO EVERY TIME YOU FEEL HUNGRY.

THE FOOD IS NUTRITIONALLY

COMPLETE SO IT WORKS WELL

AND I WAS GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN. 

(AT THAT POINT PRACTICALLY

EVERYONE IN LINE WAS NOW

ENTHRALLED WITH MY STORY.)

 

HORRIFIED, THE LADY BEHIND

ASKED IF I ENDED UP IN

INTENSIVE CARE BECAUSE THE

DOG FOOD POISONED ME.

 

I TOLD HER NO,

I STEPPED OFF A CURB TO

SNIFF A POODLE'S BUTT AND

A CAR HIT ME.

 

I THOUGHT THE GUY BEHIND HER

WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK

HE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD.

 

http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/46871398/3/stock-illustration-46871398-dog-food-bag.jpg

 


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