INSANELY FUNNY AMAZON PRODUCT REVIEWS
Added on: 1st Aug 2016
UFO DETECTOR
Reviewed by: A Trustworthy Human
“I, as a resonable and trUstworthy hUman, do not gleep nerp this
ungood prodUct. Bad it is for Us hUmans to purchase and
opperate this online pUrchasable prodUct. As the person
from Earth that I am, I think that all of my other fellow hUmans
on Earth should immediately disUse and florgnify this Utterly
Zorglefran, I mean bad item for bUying. Ha Ha. I am laughing with
hUmor with the funny word I made up with my typing that I am
not doing by direct thought extraction, and instant data
transmission to Amazon.comwebsite. Ha Ha. That was
highly hUmoroUs and glerp. UFO detectors are so dUmb
because all humans from Earth like the one I am, know that
we I mean they do not even exist! Ha Ha”
RELAXMAN RELAXATION CAPSULE
Review by: Sailoil
“One drawback, when it was delivered the capsule had no
bolt on the outside. But I’m handy, so I installed one.
I have been locking the wife and kids into the chamber
from 7pm to 7am every evening, and boy am I relaxed.
This really works.”
PLAYMOBIL SECURITY CHECK POINT
Reviewed by: prd
“I will never need to buy toothpaste again thanks to Playmobil.
Not realizing this was a toy I purchased it to prepare for my
interview as a TSA agent. Needless to say I aced it and have
been happily viewing xrays of carry-on luggage and shoes
ever since. As noted above, the free toothpaste is just icing
on the cake – never expected a free lifetime supply, but who’s
complaining. This is a “must-have” for any aspiring
TSA agent out there.”
MILK CARTON HAT
Review by: Timothy Poteet
“Those of you who follow my reviews know that I have a fondness
for classy headware. When I go out to the discos, I like to be
looking my best and I needed a hat that would go nicely with
my white Saturday Night Fever style leisure suit. The Milk
Carton Hood Adult Hat looked promising. I have a silk shirt that
perfectly matches the blue writing on the carton and a lot of
ladies have told me that when I combine the Milk Carton Hood
Adult Hat with that particular shirt, it really draws attention to
my “pretty blue eyes” (blush). A hat like this exudes confidence.
It says “Hey ladies… I’m different… I have my OWN type of
swagger…” For the finely appointed gentleman, this hat will
make a classy addition to your hat collection.”
INFLATABLE TOAST
Reviewed by: PositiveLastAction
“I have used many different types of inflatable toast an I can say
without question that this is the best inflatable toast out there.
The toast inflates quickly and with ease..this is important when
I am pressed for time and need inflatable toast at a moments
notice. If you are like me and can’t be without a high quality
inflatable toast, THIS is the one for you!”
FRESH WHOLE RABBIT
Reviewed by: Ty
“I was sent a live rabbit, a hammer and a skinning knife.
It doesn’t get fresher than this, folks.”
FIVE-POUND FAT REPLICA
Reviewed by: DK9777
“I’ve been searching for a good body fat replica for years.
You think it would be easy, right? But it’s not. Some are not
nearly pliant enough. Some look too fake. I even found one
that was actually greasy and just not good for my body fat
demonstrations. But that’s not the case this time! This is
the best five pound body fat replica on the market. If you show
this baby to someone carrying an extra forty pounds, they
are sure to take notice. Show it to your kids and they will
suddenly want to go out side and play. It might be the premier
body part replica on the market–even better than dirty
lungs, clogged arteries, or decaying teeth!
Bonus points for the realistic blood vessels!”
3M 8979N PERFORMANCE PLUS NUCLEAR
DUCT TAPE, SLATE BLUE 48MM WIDE X 54.8M LONG
Reviewed by: honeybearsf
“When we found cracks in the containment structure, we used
to have to shut the whole plant down; then there was a lot of
hassle with the nuclear regulatory agency about structural
integrity and environmental contamination. With this quality
duct tape, that’s all in the past. Now, when we see a cracked
or crumbling wall, we just bring out the tape. The slate blue
blends right in. I do recommend that you use use double
layers for openings near the reactor core.”
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD
Reviewed by: KT
“Everyone who comes to my apartment and reads this book
dies laughing. Now all my friends are dead.”
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