FATHER MURPHY

FATHER MURPHY WALKED INTO

A PUB IN DONEGAL

AND SAID TO THE FIRST MAN HE MEETS,

"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?" 

THE MAN SAID,

"I DO FATHER." 

THE PRIEST SAID,

"THEN LEAVE THIS PUB RIGHT NOW!"

HE APPROACHED A SECOND MAN.

"DO YOU WANT TO GOT TO HEAVEN?" 

"CERTAINLY, FATHER,"

WAS THE MAN'S REPLY. 

"THEN LEAVE THIS DEN OF SATAN,"

SAID THE PRIEST,

AS HE WALKED UP TO O'TOOLE. 

"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?" 

"NO, I DON'T FATHER,"

O'TOOLE REPLIED. 

THE PRIEST LOOKED HIM

RIGHT IN THE EYE, AND SAID,

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

THAT WHEN YOU DIE

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?" 

O'TOOLE SMILED,

"OH, WHEN I DIE, YES, FATHER.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING

A GROUP TOGETHER TO GO RIGHT NOW."