TEN FUN THINGS TO DO AT YOUR LOCAL RETAIL STORE

1.   TAKE THE SHOPPING CARTS FOR THE

EXPRESS PURPOSE OF FILLING THEM

AND STRANDING THEM AT

STRATEGIC LOCATIONS. 

2.   RIDE THOSE LITTLE ELECTRONIC

CARS AT THE FRONT OF THE STORE.

3.   SET ALL THE ALARM CLOCKS

TO GO OFF AT TEN MINUTE INTERVALS

THROUGHOUT THE DAY. 

4.   START PLAYING CALVINBALL;

SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE

YOU CAN GET TO JOIN IN.

5.   CONTAMINATE THE ENTIRE

AUTO DEPARTMENT BY SAMPLING ALL

THE SPRAY AIR FRESHENERS.

6.   CHALLENGE OTHER CUSTOMERS

TO DUELS WITH TUBES OF GIFT WRAP.

7.   LEAVE CRYPTIC MESSAGES

ON THE TYPEWRITERS. 

8.   RE-DRESS THE MANNEQUINS

AS YOU SEE FIT. 

9.   WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU,

WALK REALLY SLOW,

ESPECIALLY IN THIN,

NARROW AISLES.

10.                  WALK UP TO AN EMPLOYEE

AND TELL HIM IN AN

OFFICIAL TONE, 
'I THINK WE'VE GOT A

CODE 3 IN HOUSEWARES,'

AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.