THE PHYSICIAN'S LAST SPEECH

DR. EPSTEIN WAS A RENOWNED

PHYSICIAN WHO EARNED HIS

MEDICAL DEGREE IN HIS HOME TOWN

AND LEFT FOR MANHATTAN.

SOON HE WAS INVITED TO GIVE

A SPEECH BACK IN HIS HOME TOWN.

AS HE PLACED HIS PAPERS ON

THE LECTERN THEY SLID OFF

ONTO THE FLOOR AND WHEN HE

BENT OVER TO RETRIEVE THEM,

AT PRECISELY THE WRONG INSTANT,

HE PASSED A GIGANTIC FART

AND THE MICROPHONE AMPLIFIED

IT THROUGHOUT THE ROOM. 

HE WAS EMBARRASSED BUT

REGAINED HIS COMPOSURE

TO DELIVER HIS PAPER.

AFTER HE CONCLUDED,

HE RACED OUT THE STAGE DOOR,

NEVER TO BE SEEN IN HIS

HOMETOWN UNTIL DECADES LATER. 

HIS RETURN THOSE MANY YEARS LATER

WAS TO VISIT HIS AILING,

ELDERLY MOTHER.

HE RESERVED A HOTEL ROOM UNDER

A FALSE NAME, LEVY, AND ARRIVED

UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS. 

THE DESK CLERK ASKED HIM,

"IS THIS YOUR FIRST VISIT

TO OUR CITY, MR. LEVY?" 

DR. EPSTEIN REPLIED,

"WELL, YOUNG MAN, NO, IT ISN'T.

I GREW UP HERE BUT 
THEN I MOVED AWAY." 

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU VISITED?"

ASKED THE CLERK. 

"I DID VISIT ONCE, MANY YEARS AGO,

BUT AN EMBARRASSING THING

HAPPENED AND SINCE THEN I'VE

BEEN TOO ASHAMED TO RETURN." 

THE CLERK CONSOLED HIM,

"SIR, WHILE I DON'T HAVE YOUR

LIFE EXPERIENCES, ONE THING

I'VE LEARNED IS THAT OFTEN WHAT

SEEMS EMBARRASSING TO ME

ISN'T EVEN REMEMBERED BY OTHERS.

I'LL BET THAT'S TRUE OF

YOUR INCIDENT, TOO." 

DR. EPSTEIN REPLIED,

"SON, I HOPE THAT'S THE CASE

WITH MY INCIDENT." 

"WAS IT A LONG TIME AGO?" 

"YES, MANY YEARS." 

"WAS IT BEFORE OR AFTER

THE EPSTEIN FART?"