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NEW YEAR ONE LINERS

Added on: 1st Jan 2017

 

I WAS GOING TO QUIT ALL

MY BAD HABITS FOR THE NEW YEAR,

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED

THAT NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER.

 

MY WIFE STILL HASN'T TOLD ME

WHAT MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS ARE.

 

 

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS SOMETHING

THAT GOES IN ONE YEAR AND

OUT THE OTHER.

 

 

NEW YEAR'S IS JUST A HOLIDAY

CREATED BY CALENDAR COMPANIES

WHO DON'T WANT YOU REUSING

LAST YEAR'S CALENDAR.

 

 

NEW YEARS EVE FORECAST:

MOSTLY DRUNK WITH A SLIGHT

CHANCE OF PASSING OUT.

 

 

WHAT DO YOU CALL ALWAYS HAVING

A DATE FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE?

SOCIAL SECURITY.

 

 

NEW YEAR'S DAY:

NOW IS THE ACCEPTED TIME

TO MAKE YOUR REGULAR

ANNUAL GOOD RESOLUTIONS.

NEXT WEEK YOU CAN BEGIN

PAVING HELL WITH THEM AS USUAL.

 

 

WHAT DO YOU TELL SOMEONE

YOU DIDN'T SEE AT NEW YEAR'S EVE?

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR A YEAR!

 

Image result for GIF HAPPY NEW YEAR

 


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