LIARS CLOCKS

IT'S A SLOW DAY IN HEAVEN, SO ST. PETER

DECIDES TO SHOW A NEW GUY AROUND.

ST. PETER SHOWS HIM ALL OF THE SIGHTS:

THE GOLF COURSE, LIBRARY, OBSERVATION DECK,

CAFETERIA AND A HUGE ROOM FULL OF CLOCKS.

"WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE CLOCKS, PETER?"

"EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS A CLOCK THAT

SHOWS HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS LEFT.

WHEN A CLOCK RUNS OUT OF TIME, THE PERSON

DIES AND COMES TO THE GATES TO BE JUDGED."

THE GUY NOTICES THAT SOME OF THE CLOCKS ARE

GOING FASTER THAN OTHERS.

ST. PETER TELLS HIM THAT EVERY TIME A LIVING 

PERSON TELLS A LIE, IT SPEEDS UP HIS CLOCK.

THE GUY NOTICES ONE CLOCK IN THE CENTER OF THE

CEILING WITH BOTH HANDS WHIRLING AROUND

AT AN UNBELIEVABLE RATE.

"WHAT'S THE STORY WITH THAT CLOCK?"

"OH, THAT," ST. PETER REPLIES.

"THAT'S GEORGE W. BUSH'S CLOCK.

WE DECIDED TO USE IT AS A FAN."