GORILLA IN HEAT

A CERTAIN ZOO HAD ACQUIRED A VERY RARE

SPECIES OF GORILLA. WITHIN A FEW WEEKS THE GORILLA,

A FEMALE, BECAME VERY HORNY, AND DIFFICULT

TO HANDLE. UPON EXAMINATION, THE ZOO VETERINARIAN

DETERMINED THE PROBLEM WAS THAT SHE WAS IN HEAT.

WHAT TO DO? THERE WAS NO MALE OF THIS SPECIES AVAILABLE.

WHILE REFLECTING ON THEIR PROBLEM, THE ZOO

ADMINISTRATORS NOTICED MIKE, AN EMPLOYEE

RESPONSIBLE FOR CLEANING THE ANIMALS' CAGES.

NOW MIKE, IT WAS RUMOURED, POSSESSED AMPLE ABILITY

TO SATISFY ANY FEMALE, AND HE WASN'T VERY BRIGHT.

SO THE ZOO ADMINISTRATORS THOUGHT THEY MIGHT

HAVE A SOLUTION. PERHAPS THEY COULD ENTICE MIKE TO

SATISFY THE FEMALE GORILLA.

SO HE WAS APPROACHED WITH A PROPOSITION:

WOULD HE BE WILLING TO SCREW THE GORILLA

FOR FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS?

MIKE REPLIED THAT HE MIGHT BE INTERESTED,

BUT WOULD HAVE TO THINK THE MATTER OVER.

THE FOLLOWING DAY, MIKE ANNOUNCED THAT HE WOULD

ACCEPT THEIR OFFER, BUT ONLY UNDER THREE CONDITIONS:

"FIRST," HE SAID, "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO KISS HER."

"SECOND, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OFFSPRING

THAT MAY RESULT FROM THIS UNION."

THE ZOO ADMINISTRATION QUICKLY ACCEDED TO

THESE CONDITIONS, BUT WHAT COULD BE THE THIRD?

"WELL," SAID MIKE, "YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE ME ANOTHER WEEK

TO COME UP WITH THE FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS."