AWFUL ESTATE AGENTS PHOTOGRAPHS

‘Reminiscent of the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles,

if the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles had been decorated

on a tight budget in the 1970s.’

‘Of the two options, “bless this house” is the more popular.’

‘A tragic scene. This is what happens when a Smurf bursts.’

‘Some awful things must have happened on this toilet

for the owners to have erected tidal defences.’

The agents are quietly confident that a recent missing

persons case is on the verge of being solved.

‘Potential buyers are advised not to think about what

happens in this room when your back is turned

and the light begins to fade.’

For a variety of reasons, this is one shower that

should be checked thoroughly before use.’

‘Despite the best efforts of the authorities, occasionally an

inmate will manage to list his cell on the open market.’

Some people like to read while on the toilet.

Others prefer to be inundated by multiple confusing

and contradictory reflections of themselves,

repeating into infinity.’

What does the fox say? It says

“I’m the size of a fully grown man, I can stand upright,

and I’m not even 100% sure I’m a fox”.’