A LESSON IN MORALS

ONE DAY AT THE END OF CLASS,

LITTLE JOHNNY'S TEACHER ASKS THE CLASS

TO GO HOME AND THINK OF A STORY TO BE CONCLUDED

WITH THE MORAL OF THAT STORY.

THE FOLLOWING DAY THE TEACHER ASKS FOR

THE FIRST VOLUNTEER TO TELL THEIR STORY.

LITTLE SUZY RAISES HER HAND.

"MY DAD OWNS A FARM AND EVERY SUNDAY WE

LOAD THE CHICKEN EGGS ON THE TRUCK AND DRIVE INTO

TOWN TO SELL THEM AT THE MARKET. WELL, ONE SUNDAY

WE HIT A BIG BUMP AND ALL THE EGGS FLEW OUT OF

THE BASKET AND ONTO THE ROAD."

WHEN THE TEACHER ASKED FOR THE MORAL OF THE

STORY, SUZY REPLIED,

"DON'T KEEP ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET."

LITTLE LUCY WENT NEXT.

"MY DAD OWNS A FARM TOO. EVERY WEEKEND WE TAKE

THE CHICKEN EGGS AND PUT THEM IN THE INCUBATOR.

LAST WEEKEND ONLY EIGHT OF THE 12 EGGS HATCHED."

AGAIN, THE TEACHER ASKED FOR THE MORAL OF THE STORY.

LUCY REPLIED,

"DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH."

NEXT UP WAS LITTLE JOHNNY.

"MY UNCLE TED FOUGHT IN THE VIETNAM WAR

AND HIS PLANE WAS SHOT DOWN OVER ENEMY TERRITORY.

HE JUMPED OUT BEFORE IT CRASHED BUT COULD ONLY

TAKE A CASE OF BEER, A MACHINE GUN AND A MACHETE.

ON THE WAY DOWN, HE DRANK THE CASE OF BEER.

THEN HE LANDED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF 100

VIETNAMESE SOLDIERS. HE SHOT 70 WITH HIS MACHINE GUN,

BUT THEN HE RAN OUT OF BULLETS! SO HE PULLED OUT HIS

MACHETE AND KILLED 20 MORE. THEN THE BLADE ON HIS

MACHETE BROKE, SO HE KILLED THE LAST TEN

WITH HIS BARE HANDS."

THE TEACHER LOOKED A LITTLE SHOCKED.

AFTER CLEARING HER THROAT, SHE ASKED WHAT POSSIBLE

MORAL THERE COULD BE TO THIS STORY.

"WELL," JOHNNY REPLIED,

"DON'T F**K WITH UNCLE TED WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING."