ITALIAN MOTHER

MRS. BACCIAGALUPE VISITS HER SON

ANTHONY AND HIS FEMALE ROOMMATE MARIA.

DURING DINNER, MOMMA CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE

HOW PRETTY ANTHONY'S ROOMMATE IS.

SHE HAD LONG BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF THE

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO.

READING HIS MOMMA'S THOUGHTS,

ANTHONY VOLUNTEERS,

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE THINKING,

BUT MARIA AND I ARE JUST ROOMMATES."

ABOUT A WEEK LATER, MARIA SAYS TO ANTHONY,

"EVER SINCE YOUR MOTHER VISITED,

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND THE SILVER SUGAR BOWL.

DO YOU THINK SHE TOOK IT?"

"I DOUBT IT, BUT I'LL E-MAIL HER."

HE E-MAILS HIS MOTHER:

"DEAR MOMMA, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU TOOK THE

SUGAR BOWL FROM MY HOUSE AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT

YOU DIDN'T TAKE IT. BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS

BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE, ANTHONY."

MOMMA WRITES BACK:

"FIGLIO MIO, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO' SLEEP WITH

MARIA AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO NOT' SLEEP WITH HER.

BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER

OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE SUGAR BOWL BY NOW."