ONE GOOD DEED
Added on: 25th Jun 2014
A GUY JUST DIED AND HE'S AT THE PEARLY GATES,
WAITING TO BE ADMITTED, WHILE ST. PETER IS
LEAFING' THROUGH HIS BIG BOOK TO SEE IF THE GUY
IS WORTHY. ST. PETER GOES THROUGH THE BOOK
SEVERAL TIMES AND FURROWS HIS BROW
"YOU KNOW, I CAN'T SEE THAT YOU EVER DID ANYTHING
REALLY BAD IN YOUR LIFE, BUT YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING
REALLY GOOD EITHER. IF YOU CAN POINT TO EVEN ONE
REALLY GOOD DEED -- YOU'RE IN."
THE GUY THINKS FOR A MOMENT.
"YEAH, THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN I WAS
DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND SAW A GIANT GROUP
OF BIKER GANG RAPISTS ASSAULTING THIS POOR GIRL.
I SLOWED DOWN MY CAR TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND
SURE ENOUGH, THERE THEY WERE, ABOUT 50 OF 'EM RIPPING
THE CLOTHES OFF THIS TERRIFIED YOUNG WOMAN.
INFURIATED, I GOT OUT OF MY CAR, GRABBED A TIRE IRON
OUT OF MY TRUNK, AND WALKED UP TO THE LEADER OF
THE GANG, A HUGE GUY WITH A STUDDED LEATHER JACKET
AND A CHAIN RUNNING FROM HIS NOSE TO HIS EAR.
AS I WALKED UP TO THE LEADER, THE BIKER GANG RAPISTS
FORMED A CIRCLE AROUND ME. SO, I RIPPED THE LEADER'S
CHAIN OFF HIS FACE AND SMASHED HIM OVER THE HEAD
WITH THE TIRE IRON. LAYED HIM OUT.
THEN I TURNED AND YELLED AT THE REST OF THEM,
'LEAVE THIS POOR INNOCENT GIRL ALONE!
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF SICK, DERANGED ANIMALS!
GO HOME BEFORE I TEACH YOU ALL A LESSON IN PAIN!'"
ST. PETER, IMPRESSED, SAYS,
"REALLY? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"
"OH, ABOUT TWO MINUTES AGO."
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