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MORE FROM THE EDINBURGH FRINGE

Added on: 27th Aug 2014

 

HERE’S A SELECTION OF JOKES AND ONE-LINERS TOLD

AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE THIS YEAR

NOMINATED BY COMEDIANS.

I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE ALL FUNNY.

 

11. My mom called my bullies my friends,

which is like the police calling the rapist your f*** buddy.

John Hastings.

 

 

12. My girlfriend got really angry because I used one

of her posh wine glasses to trap a spider.

My argument was ... he's a guest!  

Paul F Taylor.

 

 

13. Recently I was accused of being homophobic.

I'm definitely not. Most of the men I've slept with have been gay.

Andrew Doyle.

 

 

14. Sadness is just happiness that has passed.

Shirley & Shirley.

 

 

15. I always thought Trojan was a bad name for a condom

brand because of course the Trojans were a people whose

lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors

unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls.

Jonny Lennard.

 

 

16. Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict.

I hardly ever visit Syria.

Alex Horne.

 

 

17. How can the Catholic Church be against gay marriage

when there are colours in the Sistine Chapel that

straight people can't even see?

Kevin Day.

 

 

18. If I went on Desert Island Discs I’d choose the Desert Island

Discs theme tune eight times. Just so listeners would think:

‘What’s wrong with my radio?’

John Kearns.

 

 

19. I bought myself some glasses.

My observational comedy improved.

Sara Pascoe.

 

 

20. The only legitimate reason for smoking an electronic

cigarette is if you are a robot that has just had sex

with another robot.

Lloyd Langford.

 


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