EVEN MORE FROM THE EDINBURGH FRINGE

21. THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM

BUT THE LATE WORM GETS TO LIVE...

JONNY LENNARD.

22. I MET OSAMA BIN LADEN ONCE.

I SAID 'DID YOU KNOW, YOUR NAME IS AN

ANAGRAM OF A LESBIAN NOMAD’

ANNA MORRIS.

23. I’VE NOW MOVED INTO MY MUM AND DAD'S SHED,

SOME PEOPLE CALL A SPADE A SPADE,

I CALL IT THAT THING I HANG MY HOODIE ON.

CHRIS MARTIN.

24. I SOLD MY GUITAR TO A BLOKE WITH NO ARMS RECENTLY.

I ASKED HIM HOW IT WAS GOING TO WORK, HE REPLIED,

'I'M GOING TO PLAY IT BY EAR'."

LLOYD GRIFFITH.

25. MY FRIEND KIM IS ON EVERY SINGLE DATING WEBSITE.

SHE REFERS TO THEM ALL AS THE "HUSBAND DIRECTORY"

BUT BEHIND HER BACK WE CALL IT

THE SCREWFIX CATALOGUE.

 STUART GOLDSMITH.

26. I’M VERY GOOD FRIENDS WITH 25 LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET.

I DON’T KNOW WHY.

CHRIS TURNER.

27. SO YOUR NAME IS HAM-ISH:

YOU DON'T SEEM VERY SURE."

MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE, TALKING TO THE ACCUSED

AT THIS IS YOUR TRIAL.

28. I’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS.

I HAVEN’T MADE A DECISION FOR SEVEN.

JASON COOK.

29. LOVE IS LIKE A FART.

IF YOU HAVE TO FORCE IT IT'S PROBABLY SH*T.

STEPHEN K AMOS.

30. HEARING VOICES IN YOUR HEAD IS OK.

IT'S WHEN YOU HEAR THEM IN YOUR FEET

YOU SHOULD WORRY.

ERIC LAMPERT.