THE GOLFER'S CONFESSION

A MAN GOES TO THE CONFESSIONAL.

"FORGIVE ME FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED."

"WHAT IS YOUR SIN, MY CHILD?"

THE PRIEST ASKS BACK.

"WELL," THE MAN STARTS,

"I USED SOME HORRIBLE LANGUAGE THIS WEEK

AND FEEL ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE."

"WHEN DID YOU DO USE THIS AWFUL LANGUAGE?"

SAID THE PRIEST.

"I WAS GOLFING AND HIT AN INCREDIBLE DRIVE THAT

LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO GO OVER 250 YARDS,

BUT IT STRUCK A PHONE LINE THAT WAS HANGING OVER

THE FAIRWAY AND FELL STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE GROUND

AFTER GOING ONLY ABOUT 100 YARDS."

"IS THAT WHEN YOU SWORE?"

"NO, FATHER." SAID THE MAN.

"AFTER THAT, A SQUIRREL RAN OUT OF THE BUSHES

AND GRABBED MY BALL IN HIS MOUTH AND

BEGAN TO RUN AWAY."

“IS THAT WHEN YOU SWORE?"

ASKED THE FATHER AGAIN.

"WELL, NO." SAID THE MAN, "YOU SEE,

AS THE SQUIRREL WAS RUNNING,

AN EAGLE CAME DOWN OUT OF THE SKY,

GRABBED THE SQUIRREL IN HIS TALONS AND

BEGAN TO FLY AWAY!"

"IS THAT WHEN YOU SWORE?"

ASKED THE AMAZED PRIEST.

"NO, NOT YET." THE MAN REPLIED.

"AS THE EAGLE CARRIED THE SQUIRREL AWAY IN

HIS CLAWS, IT FLEW TOWARDS THE GREEN.

AND AS IT PASSED OVER A BIT OF FOREST NEAR

THE GREEN, THE SQUIRREL DROPPED MY BALL."

"DID YOU SWEAR THEN?"

ASKED THE NOW IMPATIENT PRIEST.

"NO, BECAUSE AS THE BALL FELL,

IT STRUCK A TREE, BOUNCED THROUGH SOME BUSHES,

CAREENED OFF A BIG ROCK, AND ROLLED THROUGH A

SAND TRAP ONTO THE GREEN AND STOPPED WITHIN

SIX INCHES OF THE HOLE."

"YOU MISSED THE F**KING PUTT, DIDN'T YOU?"

SIGHED THE PRIEST.