MORE AWFUL ESTATE AGENT PHOTOGRAPHS

THE SLOW DEATH OF THE REMAINING POT-PLANTS

HAS BEEN THOROUGHLY ENJOYED BY

THE CURRENT OWNERS.

THE OWNERS ASSURE US THE POOL WILL BE

DREDGED BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN MOVE IN.

THE PROPERTY HAS BEEN RECENTLY UPGRADED TO

WITHSTAND THE FORTHCOMING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE SAID “HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE”.

IT IS NOT. HELL IS THIS PATIO.

NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU MISS A DELIVERY

BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE TOILET.

ON A COLD WINTER’S NIGHT, THERE’S NOTHING

QUITE LIKE A POORLY EXECUTED DRAWING

OF A LOG FIRE.

TO WARD OFF POTENTIAL INTRUDERS THE

OWNERS HAVE PUT A FULLY STOCKED

DRINKS TROLLEY IMMEDIATELY IN FRONT OF A

BADLY-FITTED GLASS DOOR.

DESPITE MODERNISATION, THE OWNERS HAVE

RETAINED THE TOILET’S ORIGINAL LISTENING BOOTH

AN UNUSUAL FEATURE SELDOM SEEN NOWADAYS.

 FURNISHED. PARTICULARLY WELL-SUITED TO THE

HOSTING OF COMPETITIVE STARING OR

ARM-WRESTLING TOURNAMENTS.

 A RARE EXAMPLE OF WHAT ARCHITECTURAL

HISTORIANS REFER TO AS A “FERTILITY WINDOW”.