LUNATIC

I LIKE HUNTING FOSSILS,

A HOBBY THAT ISN’T EXACTLY MY

WIFE’S FAVORITE.

ON ONE EXCURSION,

I FOUND THE PETRIFIED BONES OF A

SQUIRREL-LIKE MAMMAL.

WHEN I BROUGHT THEM HOME AND

TOLD MY WIFE WHAT THEY WERE,

SHE SQUELCHED MY EXCITEMENT.

“I’VE HEARD OF MANY A SQUIRREL

BRINGING A NUT HOME,”

SHE REMARKED,

“BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

I’VE HEARD OF A NUT

BRINGING A SQUIRREL HOME.”