ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN

THREE MEN DIE ON CHRISTMAS EVE

AND GO TO HEAVEN,

WHERE THEY’RE MET BY SAINT PETER.

“IN ORDER TO GET IN,” HE TELLS THEM,

“YOU MUST EACH PRODUCE SOMETHING

REPRESENTATIVE OF THE HOLIDAYS.”

THE FIRST MAN DIGS INTO HIS POCKETS

AND PULLS OUT A MATCH AND LIGHTS IT.

“THIS REPRESENTS A CANDLE OF HOPE.”

IMPRESSED, PETER LETS HIM IN.

THE SECOND MAN PULLS OUT A

TANGLE OF KEYS AND SHAKES THEM.

“THESE ARE BELLS.”

HE’S ALLOWED IN TOO.

“SO,” PETER SAYS TO THE THIRD MAN,

“WHAT DO YOU HAVE?”

THE THIRD MAN PROUDLY SHOWS

HIM A PAIR OF RED PANTIES.

“WHAT DO THESE HAVE TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS?”

ASKS PETER.

“THEY’RE CAROL’S.”