BOTTLE OF MERLOT

AN OLD ONE BUT WORTH A GIGGLE -

A MAN ASKED A WAITER TO TAKE A

BOTTLE OF MERLOT TO AN UNUSUALLY

ATTRACTIVE WOMAN SITTING ALONE AT A

TABLE IN A COSY LITTLE RESTAURANT.

SO THE WAITER TOOK THE MERLOT

TO THE WOMAN AND SAID,

'THIS IS FROM THE GENTLEMAN

WHO IS SEATED OVER THERE..'....

AND INDICATED THE SENDER WITH

A NOD OF HIS HEAD.

SHE STARED AT THE WINE COOLLY

FOR A FEW SECONDS,

NOT LOOKING AT THE MAN,

THEN DECIDED TO SEND A REPLY

TO HIM BY A NOTE.

THE WAITER, WHO WAS LINGERING

NEARBY FOR A RESPONSE,

TOOK THE NOTE FROM HER AND

CONVEYED IT TO THE GENTLEMAN.

THE NOTE READ:

'FOR ME TO ACCEPT THIS BOTTLE,

YOU NEED TO HAVE A MERCEDES IN YOUR GARAGE,

A MILLION DOLLARS IN THE BANK AND

'7' INCHES IN YOUR PANTS......

AFTER READING THE NOTE,

THE MAN DECIDED TO COMPOSE ONE

OF HIS OWN IN RETURN.

HE FOLDED THE NOTE,

HANDED IT TO THE WAITER AND

INSTRUCTED HIM TO DELIVER IT TO THE LADY.

IT READ:

'JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THINGS

AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY APPEAR TO BE,

I HAVE A FERRARI MARANELLO,

A BMW Z8, A MERCEDES CL600, AND A

PORSCHE TURBO IN MY SEVERAL GARAGES;

I HAVE BEAUTIFUL HOMES IN ASPEN AND MIAMI,

AND A 10,000 ACRE RANCH IN LOUISIANA .

THERE IS OVER TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS

IN MY BANK ACCOUNT AND PORTFOLIO.

BUT, NOT EVEN FOR A WOMAN AS

BEAUTIFUL AS YOU,

WOULD I CUT OFF TWO INCHES.

JUST SEND THE WINE BACK.'