WHEN GRANDMA GOES TO COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Grandma

a question if they aren't prepared

for the answer.

In a trial in Mississippi, a Southern

small-town prosecuting attorney

called his first witness to the stand,

a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you,

Mr. Williams. I've known you since you

were a boy, and frankly you've been a big

disappointment to me. You lie, you

cheat on your wife, and you

manipulate people and talk about

them behind their backs.

You think you're a big shot,

when you haven't got the brains to realize

you'll never amount to anything

more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do,

he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied,

"Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley

since he was a youngster, too.

He's lazy, bigoted, and he has

a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship

with anyone, and his law practice is one of

the worst in the entire state,

not to mention, he cheated on his wife

with three different women.

One of them was your wife.

Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died on the spot.

The judge asked both counselors to

approach the bench and,

in a very quiet voice, said...

"If either of you idiots ask her

if she knows me,

I'll send you both to the electric chair."