THE DAMNED EGG

A Scotsman and an Englishman

lived next door to each other.

The Scotsman owned a hen

and each morning he would look in his 

garden and pick up one of his

hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden 

and saw that the hen had laid an

egg in the Englishman's garden.

He was about to go next door

when he saw the Englishman

pick up the egg.

The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman

and told him that the egg belonged

to him because he owned the hen.

The Englishman disagreed

because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while

until finally the Scotsman said,

"In my family we normally solve disputes

by the following actions:

I kick you in the testicles and time how

long it takes for you to get back up.

Then you kick me in the testicles and

time how long it takes for me to get up.

Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and

so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair

of boots he could find.

He took a few steps back,

then ran toward the Englishman

and kicked him as hard as he could

in the testicles.

The Englishman fell to the floor

clutching his groin,

howling in agony for 30 minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said,

"Now it's my turn to kick you."

The Scotsman smiled and said,

"Ye can keep the damn egg!!"