CORPORATE TERMINOLOGY
Added on: 25th Sep 2015
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by
paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay you enough to expect
that you'll dress nicely.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule
on your first day.
"MUST BE FLEXIBLE:"
On many occasions, you'll be asked to
bend over and grab your ankles.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and s
ome time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female employees must be childless
(and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told
the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for
resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A
WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace the
three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company
in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager,
without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen,
figure out what they want and do it.
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