HEALTH PLAN PARODY

Receiving an Explanation of Benefits showing that

a service was not covered can be

confusing and frustrating. We are here to help.

Please refer to the following reason codes

explaining why your problem cannot be covered.

PRE&PRE: This service requires

preauthorization of the preauthorization.

PENPAL78: The Plan will not pay for this service

until you mail forms back and forth with us

seven or eight times.

V0Cab: Because we’re not sure

what the word maxillofacial means.

TOS5UP: If there is a conflict between

what is written in the Benefit Handbook 

and your Health Contract, we will flip a coin.

If we don’t like the outcome, we will flip again.

N1C3TRY: Procedures that involve the eyes,

legs, nose, or throat are deemed to be

investigational according to our criteria.

What a mystery the human body can be!

N0D1CE: Even though you received services

from a Participating Provider,

he hasn’t been joining in of late.

Also, we don’t like his new moustache.

5ONG: Because the song “Shake It Off”

is stuck in our heads, and it’s driving us crazy.

DuMBA55: The Plan does not cover foreign objects

in ears if the patient is an adult and the

object is something stupid.

Examples include a Cheerio, 


a Lego, a crayon, an hors d’oeuvre, 


a chess piece, and a gummy bear.

WhatTH3: Why, oh why, did you go to the doctor for this?

Couldn’t you have had Spouse/Dependent/Dependent

No. 2 just get you an ice pack?

MATH4U: The Participating Provider/Network

Not Available benefit after co-pay is equal to,

less than, or greater than the fee allowance/


coinsurance/out-of-pocket limit,

or ab2x4+bx3+cx2+dx+ad2=0.

OOPSx2: Not again! Really?

Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time?

If you have questions about why we have

not paid your claims, our staff is available to

converse with you Monday through Tuesday,

8 a.m. to 8:30 a.m., in Code, pig Latin, or emoji’s.

We look forward to serving you by

avoiding your health-care needs!

Isthay is otnay an illingbay!

Please retain for your records.