BRITISH HUMOUR

The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers,

so I did....

she's 21 and her name's

Lucy.

The thing I love most about this hot weather

is the short skirts and

low cut tops....

although,

they do make me look a bit gay.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night.

Locals were shouting

"pedophile!"

and other names at me,

just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.

It

completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

Following the tragic death of the

Human Cannonball

at the Kent Show,

a spokesman said

"We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

My son was thrown out of school today

for letting a girl in his class

give him a hand-job.

I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year!

You'd better stop

before you're banned from teaching altogether."